Telling the world that you're getting a divorce can feel overwhelming. Not only does it make the whole thing suddenly very public, but it also solidifies what's happening in a very real way.
On one hand, you probably don't want to just hop on Facebook and announce it. However, you may also not feel like making a lot of individual explanations either. Here's a guide that can help you decide what to say and where to start saying it.
Prepare your speech
It's much easier to get through the explanations if you practice what you plan to say. Ask yourself the following questions:
- How do you want the divorce to be seen?
- What do you want from others?
- How do you want to move on to another topic?
With these things in mind, you can craft a simple speech that sums up the essentials. For example, "I'm getting divorced. It's a difficult time but we're working toward something co-operative. I'm not ready to talk more about it right now. So how are you?" sums up the nature of your divorce (complicated), what you want (breathing space), and neatly moves on.
Choose your time for an announcement
It's probably easiest to tell your friends first -- because they likely already anticipate it. You can announce it at your next lunch or wait until the next invitation for you and your spouse comes along.
Telling your extended family might be a little harder. Consider telling the relatives that your closest to -- like a sibling or a favorite aunt -- and let them spread the news through the rest of the family.
At work, you have to judge the level of personal interaction you have with your co-workers. You may want to wait until the divorce is final.
Decide whether you're ready to celebrate
Divorce parties, complete with cake, are perfectly acceptable among friends. You should generally wait until the divorce is final and celebrate only if your heart is in it.
The important thing is to remember that you have no reason to feel embarrassed or guilty about your divorce. Instead, you should be proud of the strength it takes to forge ahead in a new direction.
Source: Wevorce.com, "Divorce Etiquette 101: What to Say," accessed June 14, 2018