Would you like a few secrets for becoming a vibrant Valentine? Brad Coates (author of Divorce with Decency) and Dr. Diana’s fiancé, soon-to-be husband Bryan Brewer (www.Funding-Quest.com) joined forces to answer that question. Dr. Diana first described what she’s heard women friends and clients want when it comes to love. LOOKS were not mentioned much. Women tend to be much more forgiving of physical flaws – having spent a lifetime perhaps examining their own. BRAINS. Yes, women love a smart man (or at least a man who loves learning new things), and a man with a sense of humor. WEALTH. Most of the sample seemed not to be gold diggers, saying they can make their own way. Really what women want is someone who has found something he loves and does it well. KINDNESS topped the list! Women want a man who will treat her kindly – and for that, the best women will give and forgive much. Pay attention to the attention she pays; be patient, one-third more often than you feel patient; don’t try to fix it, try to understand it; tell her she makes you feel lucky – and you will win her heart!
Brad points out that many men in midlife move from competing to connecting. The happiest men are more expressive and sensuous – they have cultivated their feminine side. We all spoke about how sensual sex can extend pleasure. Dr. Diana and Bryan discussed what is personally romantic. Romancing the senses by engaging all of them – sight, touch, sound, scent, and taste. Light scented candles, play music, feed each other sensual foods, watch erotic films, wear sexy lingerie (“Brevity is the soul of lingerie” – Dorothy Parker). Smell is especially important: nuzzle and sniff each other; as is touch: massage each other, taking your time. Dr. Diana’s observation regarding Bryan: When I say “I love you,” the words are not spoken out of habit. It is my way of saying thank you for being you and returning some of the joy you have given me. If you have a Valentine, make the most of it!