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We ‘Wrote The Book’ On Divorce In Hawaii

Create a positive future for you and your children after divorce

Divorce can bring out the worst in people, but it can also be a time of reinvention during which you turn yourself into the best person you can be. Remember that you can remain positive and open to many different possibilities during this time.

It is easy to respond in negative manners when there are bad things that happen during your divorce and in the period immediately after. Instead, think about how each situation might benefit you. By taking the time to think optimistically, you can focus on working toward your goal of happiness.

Knock down the barriers

One thing that you might notice as you evaluate your life is that you have put up barriers. Some of these might be self-imposed, but others might be because of limitations that your ex put on you. Determining how you can break down these barriers can help you to feel a bit more independent. The freedom that you have with divorce should enable you to do what you feel is best for you without concern for what others think.

Set clear (and realistic) expectations

You should set expectations for yourself during this time. Make sure that they are clear and reachable. For example, you might have a goal of entering into a new profession. Plan the steps you need to make this happen and give yourself a realistic timeline. For example, don't say that you want to have a job in two years if you need to obtain a new Bachelor's degree. Having your plan in writing can help you to stay on track when you drift away from the path.

Involve your children

Your divorce is going to have a significant impact on your children. Involve them in finding positive possibilities and creating a roadmap for achieving their goals. By doing this, you are showing them that they are an important part of the plan. This can also help them to work toward the goals with you.

If you have children with your ex, you need to set a parenting plan that will help you to reach your goals. Ensure that there is a plan for the children that helps them to thrive. Knowing that their interests are already being considered will help as you come up with your positive plan for the future.

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Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC
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