Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC Divorce . Paternity . Custody . Abuse/TRO . Mediation . All Family Law
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We ‘Wrote The Book’ On Divorce In Hawaii

Divorce is a new chapter of your life, make solid choices

There are many things that you have to think about when you are going through a divorce. Many people try to work out the details through mediation. By taking appropriate steps leading up to that process, you might be able to get everything hashed out more easily.

The mediation process is usually less intense than going through the litigation option. The good news about mediation is that you have a say in what the final outcome will be. You can handle matters like child custody, property division and alimony during this process.

Business-like stance

Even if you and your ex are planning on remaining friends, you have to take a business-like stance to the divorce. This may help you to keep your focus on what is best for you. Remain respectful throughout the process because this can set the stage for a good parenting relationship down the road. As time goes on, you might find that you are building a new friendship with your ex, especially if you have children together.

Focus on the children

The children must be the only focus of the child custody decisions you make. You can't let any other matters, including property division, sway the decisions you make. It might help if you address the parenting plan directly to your children. Consider writing it out like a letter that they would read. Remember that you can adjust the parenting plan as they mature and their needs change.

Non-emotional property division

You might become entangled in your emotions as you handle proper division. Try not to think about the emotional attachment to assets as you split them up. Instead, look at the logical side of keeping or parting with them. You need your assets to benefit you and not to pull you down.

Standards for disagreement resolution

If you have children, you will need to make decisions together. There are bound to be disagreements along the way. Set a plan now for problem-solving. You should include specific information, including when you might need to turn to mediation.

In all these divorce matters, try not to let past feelings creep up. This is a new chapter of your life so let the past remain there. You may find that you are less stressed by taking things one choice at a time during the process.

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Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC
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Pioneer Plaza Suite 1400
Honolulu, Hawaii 96813

Phone: 808-524-4854
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