Parenting styles differ from one person to the next. When you divorce, there is a good chance that your ways aren't going to be the same as your ex. This can become a problem, but it doesn't always have to be.
You and your ex can make the conscious decision to work together to come up with a plan that provides the children with stability and still allows each parent to use their own parenting styles. This might not be easy but it can benefit the kids.
Remember that differences are unavoidable
There is no reason for you to think that you and your ex will agree to utilize the same methods for parenting. After all, disagreements is what likely led to your divorce. Your children should be able to adjust to the differences between the homes, which can benefit them later in life. They will learn to be flexible and to address changes as they come.
Try to agree on major points
Some aspects of the children's lives, such as being required to read daily or staying up to date on immunizations, might be on the list of major points that both parents want to have a say in. If this is the case, have a respectful discussion with your ex. Whatever decisions are made should be covered in the parenting plan so that everyone knows the agreement.
Focus on balance and stability
As long as your child's foundation is stable and everything is balanced, there is no reason for you to worry too much. Ask yourself if the kids are happy, healthy and safe. If the answer is "yes," there isn't much that you need to do. Instead, focus on finding ways to make the time the children have with you into bonding opportunities. Don't worry about what is going on at your ex's house unless there is something amiss there.
Set a solid parenting plan
The parenting plan that you set has to be based on what is best for the children. Both parents need to agree on the basic terms in the plan. This should include things like who is going to make decisions about the kids and what basic rules must be followed. You should consider adding in a rule that both parents must be respectful to each other and that no messages should be relayed through the children.