Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC Divorce . Paternity . Custody . Abuse/TRO . Mediation . All Family Law
Call For A Free Initial Consultation 808-524-4854

We ‘Wrote The Book’ On Divorce In Hawaii

Not all abuse is physical

Abuse in a marriage can take many forms. Physical abuse is much easier for both the victim and others to identify, but spouses in Hawaii need to also be aware of what constitutes non-physical abuse, which are emotional and psychological. 

According to HuffPost, subtle signs of an abusive relationship often start early on. These are the same signs that make someone seem like a perfect girlfriend or boyfriend. While romance is nice, an abuser will often go over the top to give flowers, gifts and attention. This is because in order to exert control, the abuser must make the victim trust and love at an early stage in the relationship.

An abuser often wants commitment, such as moving in, exclusivity and even marriage, early in the relationship. Once a couple has commitment, jealousy and control become a bit more imminent. Examples of these include wanting to know where the other one is at all times and isolating friends and family. An abuser will often balance negative comments or behavior with loving and sweet behavior, which helps confuse the victim into not knowing the difference between abusive and normal behavior.

Our Everyday Life outlines some specific examples of what constitutes emotional abuse. These include:

  • Name calling and criticism, with the intention to lower self-esteem
  • Shaming
  • Threatening and intimidating language
  • Blaming the victim
  • Screaming and yelling frequently to get a point across
  • Covering up insults with jokes

Because the signs of non-physical abuse are not obvious, victims tend to stay in unhappy marriages for longer than necessary. If someone knows what to look for, the victim can take action earlier on for either repair or a breakup.


No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information
Email us for a Response

Get A Free Consultation

Bold labels are required.

Contact Information

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.


Privacy Policy

Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC
900 Fort Street
Pioneer Plaza Suite 1400
Honolulu, Hawaii 96813

Phone: 808-524-4854
Fax: 808-524-0717
Honolulu Law Office Map

Image Office Map
Image Office Building