The way that divorce is handled usually depends on whether you are on good terms with your ex. Some spouses make a mutual decision to end their marriage, and may even come out of the divorce as friends. However, other spouses might have been torn apart by jealousy or explosive fights, which may make a collaborative divorce impossible.
Collaborative divorces and mediation is becoming increasingly popular as a route to finalizing a divorce. This is because it tends to be a more efficient process and it is associated with costing less than typical court litigation. However, there can be circumstances in which litigation is preferable to meditation in divorce. The following are some circumstances in which you may want to consider mediation.
When you cannot agree on certain issues
Certain issues in a divorce can become especially complex and difficult to navigate through mediation alone. Perhaps, for example, both you and your divorcing spouse are adamant that you want to keep the family home. An emotionally charged topic such as this could mean that no amount of money will be enough to persuade either of you to surrender the family home. In this case, it may be necessary to go through litigation to get the outcome that you deserve.
When your divorcing spouse is manipulative or toxic
When you are divorcing a person who is narcissistic, irrational or who has anger management problems, it is unlikely that you will be able to collaborate to reach a settlement that will be fair for both parties. If you are finding that it is impossible to reach agreements on even simple things, or that small issues can quickly escalate into huge arguments, you may get a better outcome by going through litigation.
Choosing the best solution for your circumstances
Mediation can sometimes be beneficial in facilitating high-conflict scenarios. However, sometimes only the courts will be able to generate the outcome that you are fighting for. This is why it is important to consider both options and find a solution that will benefit you.
If you are going through a divorce in Hawaii, think carefully about the approach that you want to take.