A manipulative spouse is difficult to deal with because they will push and push until they get their way. The techniques that they use can often make you feel negatively about yourself. They might cause stress in your home. You may always feel guilty or like you did something wrong. This isn’t a way to live, so you decide that you are going to file for divorce.
Going through a divorce with a person who is manipulative is going to be challenging. You are going to have to figure out ways to cope with the manipulation. For many people going through this, a trial is inevitable because their spouse isn’t going to compromise on any points that are necessary for the divorce to be finalized.
Know their common tactics
Some of the more common tactics that a person will use in these cases include gaslighting and passive aggressiveness. Gaslighting occurs when they try to turn everything around on you to make you feel like you are the crazy one in the situation. Passive aggressiveness means that they are being critical but are masking it with being nice. Both of these can make your life difficult as you try to work through the divorce.
By knowing their common tactics, you can spot them and react accordingly. If they are gaslighting, know that you aren’t crazy and stick to your guns about your views. If they are being passive aggressive, you might decide to appreciate the nice gesture and ignore the criticism that comes with it.
Get out of isolation
One common tactic of a manipulative spouse is isolating their significant other. If you had to face this, now is the time to remove those walls. Reconnect with family members and friends who can provide you with support during this time. You might also get out and do things that you enjoy. Finding hobbies and activities can help you to make new friends and avoid boredom.
Keep good records
You should keep good records of all exchanges between you and your ex. One of the easiest ways to do this is to use written communication so that what is said is in writing. Manipulators will often try to twist your words or actions to suit their own agenda. By keeping written records of everything, you can prevent this from happening in your divorce.
Remember that you need to protect your own interests when you are divorcing a manipulator. You need a strong team behind you to offer guidance and support.
If you need help protecting yourself and your assets during a divorce in Hawaii, our Honolulu lawyers at Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson can help you prepare and strengthen your case before you even file. Call 808-518-6376!