Hawaii parents often have a hard time learning to work together after a divorce when they have joint custody. They are often carrying baggage from the divorce that they have a hard time discarding, which leads to conflict. However, there are things that parents can do in order to be successful as co-parents.

The first thing to remember is that everything is about the children. They are the reason why both parents decided to seek joint custody in the first place. Parents need to put their own needs and ego aside to make decisions in the children’s best interests. This begins with the actual custody schedule when parents need to consider what their children may want and what makes their lives easier. If the circumstances change, parents should entertain the idea of changing the custody schedule as necessary.

Respectful and effective communication is also important in a joint custody arrangement. One must view the other person as a parent instead of as their former spouse. A bad spouse is still capable of being a good parent. Parents need to exercise discretion when it comes to conflicts. Not every fight is necessary, and walking away is generally a better option. If the two parents cannot learn to communicate, there are systems under the auspices of the court that can help make dealing with each other easier.

The custody agreement is the basis for the arrangement, and an effective agreement will make it easier for the two parents to work together. One should consult with a custody attorney in order to negotiate a joint custody agreement with their spouse. There are many contingencies that parents may not think of on their own, meaning that they can benefit from the help of their lawyer. In addition, the lawyer could help lower their stress level.