Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC

Divorce . Paternity . Custody . Abuse/TRO . Mediation . All Family Law

Call For A Free Initial Consultation

Could mediation be a wise decision for your pending divorce?

| Sep 19, 2017 | Blog

You and your spouse have encountered serious issues in your marriage. Perhaps it’s infidelity. Maybe there’s a problem with substance abuse, physical or emotional abuse, or even gambling. In some cases, you’ve grown apart and can’t see the relationship working anymore. You believe that divorce is inevitable, but you dread going through with the whole messy process.

If you and your spouse are still capable of communicating and working together, mediation could be a great solution. Instead of heading to court, where a judge will make all of the most important decisions, you and your former spouse can commit to mediation. In this scenario, you retain your own attorneys and work with a neutral third party to resolve the biggest disputes in your divorce.

Mediation can help you rebuild your relationship

Although it’s uncommon, mediation can help save your marriage. In some cases, when you sit down and start discussing the details of your divorce, you realize that it may be possible to work through these issues together. If you both agree that it’s possible and your mediator helps you address some of the most pressing concerns, you may find yourself in a position where reconciliation may still be possible.

Even if you can’t see any way out but the end of your marriage, talking through issues and compromising can help you and your former spouse reset your relationship. This can be invaluable, especially if you’ll be co-parenting your minor children together.

If you can work as a team and compromise, it will be easier to interact regularly when exchanging custody, attending school events or even when discussing the evolving parental needs of your children. Mediation can also protect your children from the hardest parts of a contentious divorce.

Mediation allows you to divorce with dignity

Divorce can be an emotional and embarrassing process. Your worst behaviors can end up on display for the whole court. You could find yourself acting irrationally, out of anger. Unless there are compounding factors, your court records and proceedings will likely become public record. Neither you nor your spouse benefit from all of that.

Mediation can help you and your spouse resolve issues behind closed doors, instead of in a public court room. You can discuss issues and disagreements in privacy and find some way to put the worst of it behind you. You and your spouse will both be empowered to find solutions that work for everyone in your family, instead of trying to make one another look like the proverbial bad guy to the court.

Mediation can be a great alternative to traditional divorce for those who are willing to put in the effort. The long-term impact of mediation can be a healthier approach to your relationship and more control over the outcome of your divorce proceedings. When done properly, everyone wins in mediation.