Affairs often reflect unmet expectations, lack of excitement, boring sex lives, emotional detachment, and feeling more like a parent than a sexual being. Attorney Brad Coates helped sort out these issues and more. In the fifth edition of his book Divorce with Decency, he addresses affairs and infidelity. Is infidelity inevitable? Are men “hardwired” to cheat? Brad Coates has headed the largest divorce law firm in Hawaii for nearly forty years, and Dr. Diana has seen couples for thirty-five years. Both have observations regarding affairs. Monogamy may not be the gold standard of relationships. Many therapists believe that healthy sexual desire is driven by love – despite the extremely common experience that in long-term relationships, as love deepens, desire declines. Both Brad and Dr. Diana have opinions about how to cope with affairs – and how to rebuild in the aftermath. Every affair will redefine a marriage, and every marriage will determine what the legacy of the affair will be.
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