Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC

Divorce . Paternity . Custody . Abuse/TRO . Mediation . All Family Law

Call For A Free Initial Consultation

Helping children deal with divorce in Hawaii

| Feb 21, 2020 | Child Custody, Divorce

Divorce is generally known as a difficult and traumatic experience for children who have their previous life disrupted. However, it does not have to be that way. With some forethought and planning ahead, children can be spared from many of the stresses and difficulties of divorce. Setting ground rules ahead of time and making a plan can give children a sense of normalcy.

Those who are getting divorced should take the opportunity to consider what is important to their children. Things such as holidays should be worked out early so that the children will know what to expect during the important times of the year. In addition, parents should agree on a consistent outline of rules for both homes to ensure that the children do not have different situations at each of their homes.

One of the most important things for children to know is that they are not the cause of the divorce. They must be reassured that they can love both parents and that both parents love them. It is crucial to not put the children in a position where they must choose between the parents for things such as parties or holidays.

Establishing structure ahead of time will work best to make the transition as smooth as possible for the children. Divorce is chaotic enough, so minimizing the disruption is important.

A family lawyer may be able to help parents write these things into a child custody agreement. The lawyer may advise parents on ways to structure a custody arrangement that can provide as much normalcy as possible for the children. Even if the divorce is not contested, it may help to reach out to a lawyer for advice on how to best incorporate measures into the arrangements that will ease the transition for the children and provide for harmony.