When Hawaii families dissolve, parents are understandably anxious about ensuring that their children are not devastated by the divorce. While the impacts can be minimized, it is unrealistic to expect that they will not be affected at all. However, there are steps that parents can take to ensure that the children maintain as much normalcy as possible during this time.
Structure is one of the most important things that a parent can provide to their children. Even though one household is now becoming two, a parent should still have rules and expectations for their children and should not worry about what the other parent does. The parent should communicate those rules to the children ahead of time. In addition, the parent should not try to outdo the other parent when it comes to fun activities in order to curry favor with the children.
The second crucial thing during a divorce is communication. Even if a parent is not feeling their best, they need to be there to listen to the children and how they feel. A parent should regularly reach out to the children to check on them and to see if they want to talk. However, those communications should be positive and should not include disparaging the other parent because that puts children in the middle and forces them to choose sides.
The best thing for the children is if the divorce does not become acrimonious. Children can sense when a divorce is bitter, and it does more damage to them. A child custody advocate may assist in resolving the divorce without the need for hostile litigation by helping their client work towards a settlement agreement. The lawyer may provide a reality check at points when the divorce may be spiraling out of control and reaching the point of bitterness.